Before we get started here are 2
important things to remember.
1. Your partner is not a porn star.
Your first experience of anal sex
will no doubt be from porn, very few woman can take a dildo the
size of a fire extinguisher up her ass. It this situation size
does matter... The Smaller The Better.
2. Lube is your friend.
You can never have enough lube
in anal sex.
Get the right lube. Remember
unlike the vagina the anus doesn't produce its own lubrication.
There are a variety of lubrications on the market and you pay
for what you get. With anal sex its advisable to get a high end
water based lubricant. You can also use KY Jelly, Baby Oil or
Vaseline. Whatever lube you use remember to keep applying
throughout sex. You can never have enough lube in this
situation. Oil based lubricants can degrade Condoms so are not recommended for protected sex.
Always check that your lube is safe to use with Condoms. |
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First things first, you need to
decide whether you are in the mood, as there is nothing
un-sexier than an unwilling partner. Don't be pressurised into
anal sex as this can result in tense and painful sex. |
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Be prepared for mess |
Get yourself prepared. Use the
loo then have a warm relaxing bath, taking particular care to
clean around your anus.
To douche or not to douche?
There are two schools of thought
on this. Any well-respecting adult star will always douche
before performing anal sex. However douching or over-douching
removes the anal mucus that prevents infection (however the same
can be said about enemas). In the end, it all comes down to
personal preference. Let it be noted that anal sex is one of the
easiest ways to pass an STD from tiny tears in the anal lining.
It is always recommended that you use a Condom for anal sex unless you know your partners
STD status.
Towels. You are entering an "out
hole" so don't be surprised if you bring some waste out during
the act of anal sex. Get a few towels to lay on and wipe any
mess off you or your partner. The mess can be minimised by
douching beforehand, most Adult Sex Shops sell a variety of douches. |
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Set The Mood |
A lot of trust is involved for
anal sex and the right mood helps a lot. No one wants to be bent
over the bathroom sink and taken bone dry. (Of course there are
some who enjoy this but it is an exception to the rule.) Scented
candles, scatter cushions, music and lots of lube are a good
start. Also, some low key lighting can avoid any embarrassment
caused by any mess generated. Basically, comfort is the key. The
more comfortable the woman is the easier everything will come. |
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Foreplay |
Take your time, foreplay is
everything. Spend a good 30 minutes plus on cunnilingus and
rimming before you even think of sticking anything in. A
selection of oral and rimming positions can be found in our Sexual Positions Guide. Once the mood is right you can start with some gentle anal play.
Start with a well lubed finger gently circling and tickling the
anus. When your partner's ready, slip a finger in. Start off
with some shallow penetration letting the anus accommodate it.
Once this feels comfortable you can curl your finger upwards and
gently rub the clit. Bring your partner close to orgasm and slip
in another finger. You can start with some gentle thrusting as
your partner reaches orgasm. |
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Toys |
At this point you might want to
try some toy play. You can find a selection of Online Sex Shops HERE.
Shop together for a toy. Most men would buy the biggest butt
plug on sale, whereas the woman might want to start off smaller
and work her way up. Nowadays there are 100's of anal toys on
the market, we recommend one of the gift sets with a variety of
toys in different sizes. Don't forget the lube! When using a
dildo or vibrator for anal play it is a advisable to use a Condom on the toy. Never put the dildo into the vagina after putting it
into the anus. After anal use wash your sex toys in an
anti-bacterial hand wash. As before start off gently and slowly. |
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Entering |
Now get the lube back out. Once
you're ready for penetration you need to choose a position. You
can find a selection in our Anal Sexual Positions Guide.
To start with a basic woman on top position is usually best.
With the woman on top she can control the depth of penetration
and the rhythm. Once you start penetration the woman should push
out as if she is voiding her bowels. This should allow the penis
to slip in. Once you're in, STOP, stay still and allow the anal
tract to expand to accommodate the penis. Ease yourself in bit
by bit, taking care not to be too forceful and remembering to
take it slowly. Once your partner is comfortable with your penis
in her, you can start thrusting, remembering to make sure your
partner is enjoying it as much as you are. Re-apply lube often. |
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Change Positions |
Once you're comfortable you can
start to experiment with positions. Try a doggy style position,
reaching around to masturbate your partner, bringing her to
orgasm. The more your partner cums the more likely anal will be
on the menu more often. You can find a great selection of Anal Sex Positions HERE. |
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Double Penetration |
Once you've mastered the basic
anal sex, you can spice things up with some D.P. Simply slipping
a finger in your partner's anus (always check this is okay with
your partner first) while you're in a Woman On Top Sexual
Position can help achieve a great orgasm. Again,
using toys is great, at first penetrating the vagina and then
using toys on the anus too, working up to anal penetration and
using toys to penetrate the vagina. Try to get a good rhythm
going and you can produce mind blowing orgasms for both parties. |
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Take Turns |
After all, what's good for the
goose is good for the gander. When you're trying to convince
someone to have anal sex there is no better way than to show
that you're open to being on the receiving end as well. Again
start with your fingers first, working your way up to toys.
(This should also make sure your partner doesn't buy that giant
butt plug.) The fact that the mans "G Spot" is located inside
his anus should lead to some mind blowing orgasms. |
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Practice Makes Perfect |
Practice on yourself, self
exploration is the best way to find out what you do and don't
like. Slipping a finger in when you're playing with yourself
will let you know what turns you on, you can also inform your
partner as to what they should try and what does it for you. |
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